Aquirus Corp., the imminent multi-billion dollar e-commerce acquisition with no discernible products or services, has severed its ties with SmirkNet Inc. Aquirus representatives cited SmirkNet's links to unintentionally funny web pages as "conceivably construed as a value-providing service, and hence outside the focus of Aquirus." Management representatives from both SmirkNet and Aquirus described the move as an amicable parting, and the respective companies agreed to remain friends but begin seeing other people.